I woke up this morning feeling the effects of stress and lack of sleep hitting my body. I could tell I was getting sick. But I couldn’t stay in bed like I longed to, I had my internship to go to. Once there I was in a fog. Luckily the branch has been incredibly slow for the past few weeks so I was able to hide in a teller window and do very few transactions. It was in the later part of the day when I saw my internship program manager walk in. The very important district manager had already been in the branch for an hour or so. And they wanted to talk to me.
A little back story: I had not been enjoying the internship. Sure I liked the people I worked with and the clients were always interesting, but I was getting unwanted attention from my branch manager about my less than stellar sales. She would often target me in group meetings in a very unpleasant way. I also did not want to get stuck as a teller for the rest of my life.
So I walk into the office and immediately know where the conversation was going. They asked about how I thought I was doing and if I saw myself coming back for the second part of the internship next year. That’s when emotional me just lost it. Not crazy bawling, but a crack in my voice and a few tears. It was a stressful situation and I was about to do something I hadn’t done before: be completely and totally honest to a bunch of strangers. I told them I didn’t want to come back next year, and they seemed glad I said that.
Then things got interesting when they gave me the option of ending my internship before the end of the month. No more stressing about how I was going to juggle sorority responsibilities, planning a large event, my online class, and a budding new romance. I felt sudden relief. And complete terror.
They let me leave early for the day to think about what I wanted to do (continue until the end or cut things short). After I calmed down, talked to my parents and close friends I determined that I was ready to be done.
All of this was quickly followed by my first ever 5K race. My mom and I have been training to walk in the Crim (a big race in Flint) for a few months now and decided we should get a few races under our belts before then. So feeling sick, without much sleep, and after quite the day at work, I suited up.
I had a BLAST. I worked my ass off and got a really good time (I was doing 13 minute miles walking…let’s not get crazy and think I actually ran a 5K or anything). I even got a plaque for ranking first in my age division. Sure there was no one else in my age bracket, but who cares?!
It’s days like these when I really am baffled at life. One minute I can be admitting defeat at a job I hated and the next walking 5K in the pouring rain feeling powerful. Life is truly unpredictable.