19th Birthday Eve Thoughts

Tomorrow is my19th birthday, and while part of me feels like I’ve already been 19 for a while now, there’s still a tiny portion of me screaming out, “Woah! Hold on here! When did this happen?!”

There are so many times when I feel like I’m much older than I actually am. Like with the breakup with the boyfriend for instance. The breakup wasn’t a messy one because of lies, cheating, or any sort of childish drama that could be the topic of a Degrassi episode. We just didn’t have that “thing” between us and we both knew it and wanted to do what was best for one another. We are just two incredibly different people. Numerous people have described the break up and how the (ex) boyfriend and I have been handling it as “very mature,” and it really is. I’m still a kid in a lot of ways, but I’ve never been childish when it comes to relationships, and I’m incredibly proud of that.

I worry that I’ve missed out on a lot of experiences though because of being so mature in a lot of aspects of my life. I’ve never snuck out of the house or………see I can’t even think of rebellious, childish acts I haven’t done! I don’t think I necessarily regret not being more stupid in my early teen years, but I do feel as if I’ve alienated myself a bit from my peers by never being interested in those sorts of things.

In the end I’m still incredibly young, and I need to stop rushing the present to get to the future. I’ve had a very fantastic life thus far, and even though there have been some not-so-great struggles and trials, I feel like I’m a much stronger, better person because of them.

My two best friends have planned an epic birthday party for me tomorrow. It’s going to be incredible, I already know. I’m curious to see how it compares to my other birthdays, because I’ve been very fortunate in regards to awesome birthday parties.

…..

Finding photos for most of them has proven to be incredibly difficult, but here’s what I’ve been able to scrounge up…

^^ 2nd Birthday ^^

^^ 3rd Birthday ^^

^^ 7th Birthday ^^

^^ 8th Birthday ^^

^^ 9th Birthday ^^

^^ 15th Birthday ^^

(My 16th Birthday was in France…and yet I didn’t get any photos of it?!)

^^ 17th Birthday ^^

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2 thoughts on “19th Birthday Eve Thoughts

  1. The years have flown by indeed! The joy, delight and pleasure that I have had watching you get to age 19 is incredible. You are an amazing woman with so many talents and gifts to offer everyone and the world. So what did you do for your 18th birthday?

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